Name: Colton

What You need to know:

21.
Aries.
Fluid Sexuality.
Ithaca, New York
Ithaca College ('10-'14).
Writer. Smut Peddler. Drag Queen.
Want to learn more? Message Me/Follow.

disturbingly-average:

i am 99.999% sure that literally everyone knows steve irwin is australian

disturbingly-average:

i am 99.999% sure that literally everyone knows steve irwin is australian

tentacletherapissed:

sagihairius:

tinychatter:

i love when people call me precious thats such a cute thing to call somebody

yeah it does have a nice
ring to it

image

(Source: mstrkrftz)

haus-of-ill-repute:

Cats come in both liquid and solid form.

haus-of-ill-repute:

Cats come in both liquid and solid form.

ocebutt:

dooptown:

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BRING YOUR GUN TO THE GROCERY STORE

how does america even function like it sounds like a video game or something. grand theft freedom.

woodmeat:

dickgripper:

when youre running what do your cock and balls do? do they just flap against your thighs or

my dick becomes rock hard to steer my body using wind currents, almost like a sail and said wind causes my scrotum to tighten close to my body for maximum speed

toastoat:

PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME

fightclubbing:

necrophilofthefuture:

Meet Pickles, aka “Catosaurus.” He was rescued in Boston and he’s over 3 feet long.

this is a big cat

fightclubbing:

necrophilofthefuture:

Meet Pickles, aka “Catosaurus.” He was rescued in Boston and he’s over 3 feet long.

this is a big cat

guy:

stability:

What do you mean most people leave their rooms before noon

What do you mean most people leave their rooms

tom-sits-like-a-whore:

iamthedukeofurl:

zoewashburne:

wordsofdiana:

The only thing I want in Avengers 2 is Cap picking up Thor’s hammer, totally unaware it should be impossible.

Screw that, I want Thor to lose his hammer. And there’s some guy playing with his dog like “Go Fetch”.

And then the dog comes back with the Hammer, and Thor shows up and sees the dog holding the hammer in it’s mouth, looks at the guy and says “That is a very good dog”

image

last-griever:

alwaysri8:

gaybrielandasstiel:

thespooklock:

thespooklock:

so my plan for halloween is to dress up as a Nazgul with my black horse and go trick or treating but instead of saying “trick or treat” i’ll either scream or hiss “Bagginssssssssss, Shhhhhhhire” and then ransack their villages in my search for the One Ring

image

i bet

image

you guys

image

thought

image

i was joking

oh dear god

HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU TERRORIZE

OH MY GOD

(Source: onvavoiir)

martinfreeman:

catholicamputee:

this was the weirdest movie ever.

shrek 2 was the highest grossing film of 2004 and is the 26th highest grossing film of all time

(Source: animationstations)

gaydicks420:

shuckl:

shuckl:

shuckl:

untapped aesthetic: surrealist jock

a varsity jacket but it has three arms and it’s melting

your football shoulder pads have grass growing out of them and they constantly hum

you shove nerds not into lockers, but into other planes of existence. your football is always singing, singing, singing. the astroturf changes colors beneath you, and whispers the name of every person you’ve ever loved.